February 8, 2023
I started the year with a very different idea of what I wanted to achieve via my Substack newsletter. I wrote a couple of posts under the banner of “Generous Wisdom”— an idea I’ve carried around for quite a while, which was based on a vision I had for fostering a community of people who were passionate about helping others evolve and grow. But I just couldn’t get as charged up about it as I needed to, to ensure my vision took flight.
And so, I did what I always do when I’m stuck—I went on long, early morning walks, listened to motivational podcasts, and—because this is how I roll—I asked the universe for signs. And yesterday, I got one.
As many of you pioneer subscribers already know, I’ve been on a journey to write and publish a book for longer than I’d care to admit. It’s required both time and sacrifice to get to this point, but after having put the manuscript through a final editorial review, (and getting positive feedback in the process) I’m on a path to give conventional publishing one last go.
I began pitching in earnest a few weeks ago with the knowledge (read: delusion) that because this version of the book is the best iteration so far, an offer for representation would be immediate and swift! (As a writer—and this goes for any artist or entrepreneur—you have to be willing to engage in a little magical thinking otherwise you’d never have the chutzpah to stay in the game.) And because I’m not entirely delusional, I was also bracing myself for the inevitable rejections that would more than likely come my way. And yesterday, I got my first.
Let me tell you—I don’t care how resilient and determined you are—rejection is never easy to take. When you see an agent’s name in the inbox, and instead of an offer they tell you you’re not a good fit, your heart plummets straight to the floor.
There was something about yesterday’s rejection that made it particularly tough. Maybe it’s because I’ve told myself that after this final push it will be time to move on, or who knows, maybe it’s more complicated than that. Whatever the reason, yesterday’s rejection was a blow.
I gave myself an hour to feel really pacifier-style dreadful, and then I treated myself to lunch at my favorite local sushi restaurant. As I was drowning my sorrows in seared salmon, I concluded that if I didn’t want to be in a constant state of emotional whiplash, I needed to figure out how to reframe this “on the road to publishing” experience in a more positive way. Thus, “100 Rejections” was born.
Here’s my idea: (You may have to work with me on this one.) I have always loved setting hard-to-achieve goals, so I decided that I wouldn’t falter until I had 100 rejections under my belt. For some crazy-a$$ reason, reframing the process and setting that goal has totally upended the way I feel about rejections. Rather than a completely disheartening event, each rejection gets me one step closer to my goal of 100. (Whatever it takes, my friends. Whatever it takes.)
And while I appreciate the implicit tomfoolery of the idea behind the 100 Rejections pursuit, I also intend to make the experience worthwhile by sharing the twists and turns of my journey through this newsletter, with the hope that, like the vision I had for Generous Wisdom, my experiences might help guide and support someone else.
So here goes…we are now on the road to 100 Rejections…and actually, only 99 left.
That is a terrific reframe!
I am happy to read about the twists and turns of this journey. Also I like that you drowned your sorrows in salmon instead of anything unhealthy/addictive.
I've been a grant writer for many years, so I understand the pain of rejection, although on a different level than yours. Can't wait to read more about your journey!