In Part I, I discussed the importance of crafting an attention-grabbing One Sentence Pitch (aka Book Blurb), which increasingly is a “do not pass go” requirement for submissions—particularly those transmitted via the Online Query form. I also talked about the mindset shift necessary for me to get comfortable with reducing my novel (my art!) into a pithy, one sentence hook. Something I was only able to do once I began viewing the querying process through the practical lens of a businessperson versus that of an overly sensitive, artistic hopeful.
In Part II of Mastering the One Sentence Pitch, I’m going to provide examples of the three approaches I’ve seen used for books that have successfully landed a publishing deal. But before I do, I’m going to paraphrase something I heard an agent say that was the proverbial 2 X 4 I needed to overcome my resistance to this task. She essentially said that because of the overwhelming volume of queries she gets each month, she has to look at every sentence of a submission with a very critical eye in which she asks herself: “So what? Why do I care?” And if she can’t find a reason to care, she likely won’t read a single sentence of your book.
There was something in this woman’s no-nonsense directness that finally drove the importance of the One Sentence home, and that also led me to apply that same “So What?” critical eye to my work. As a result, my Query Letter (which now begins with the One Sentence) is significantly improved, and will hopefully increase the chances of my submission getting over the transom and on to a desk.
Now for the examples….
The following are the three formats I’ve seen used, (titles clearly my own) either independently, or in hybrid form:
1) The Cliffhanger
2) X meets Y—Jaws meets Twilight meets Bridget Jones
3) Everything, Everywhere, All in One Sentence
The Cliffhanger:
Iona Iverson’s Rules for Commuting, by Clare Pooley: "Nobody talks to strangers on the train--but what would happen if they did?"
The Cliffhanger seems the riskiest approach in that the chances of a miss far outweigh those of executing well enough to create a win. (You leave a lot of unanswered questions on the table.) While The Cliffhanger seems best suited for genres in which cliffhangers themselves are implicit—mysteries and thrillers—it can also be applied to other genres, as in the case of Pooley’s book, which is further described as “a heartwarming novel about unexpected friendships and the joy of connecting.”
X meets Y—Jaws meets Twilight meets Bridget Jones:
The Last of the Seven, by Steven Hartov: “A classic World War II raid story, based on historical fact, about a group of German-speaking European Jews recruited to take on the Nazis behind enemy lines—The Guns of Navarone with a Jewish crew, combined with The English Patient and Catch-22."
Similar to The Cliffhanger, this method also seems a little risky and can be difficult to pull off in a way that doesn’t sound either sophomoric or far-reaching. (The example above is neither.) In interviews on the subject, I’ve heard agents express palpable disdain for poorly executed attempts (as the tongue-in-cheek Jaws meets example above)—especially those in which writers position their novel using blockbuster titles such as Harry Potter or Twilight. There is a further risk that Jaws meets comparisons will create preconceptions and expectations that the writer’s work ultimately doesn’t—or might not even want to—deliver on. (I saw evidence of this with readers who railed against Bonnie Garmus’ bestselling, Lessons in Chemistry comparison to Where’d You Go, Bernadette?)
My unsolicited advice here—either in querying or in investor decks—is to proceed with care. You’ve potentially got more to lose than gain by executing poorly and in a way that causes you to come across as either naïve or arrogant—or both.
Everything, Everywhere, All in One Sentence:
When We Fell Apart, by Soon Wiley: "A profoundly moving and suspenseful drama that untangles the complicated ties that bind families together—or break them apart—as a young Korean American man’s search for answers about his girlfriend’s mysterious death becomes a soul-searching journey into his own bi-cultural identity."
This comprehensive, “pack it all in there” structure is the one I see used most often, (sometimes in combination with The Cliffhanger and Jaws meets), and when masterfully done (as the above example is), can help an agent make a quick assessment as to whether your submission might be a good fit. From a writer’s standpoint, a clear single sentence synopsis can similarly help you identify agents with an expressed interest in your genre and themes. (More on that topic in Part III.)
Everything, Everywhere, All in One Sentence is the structure I used, and in Part III, I will both share my One Sentence and deconstruct it, explaining why I made (read: agonized over) the choices I did. While it took work—and a lot of second-guessing—to craft a One Sentence I feel good about, now that I have, it’s helped me gain clarity on where my novel fits within the market, and which agents are likely to be the best fit.
Thanks for reading, and for keeping me company on this tumultuous journey.
Until next time, keep writing and dreaming….
Diana
Attribution Note: Examples above came from this excellent Writer’s Digest article.
I learned something new - the three formats. What a great exercise.
Talk about distilling something down to its essence and being economical with words - what an exercise.