In my last post, I wrote about an intention I set for 2023 to bring more joy into my life. As I’ve continued to drill down on what this “Quest for Joy” might entail—specifically the actions required to bring such a sweeping intention to life, two words—optimism and positivity—keep strong-arming their way to the front of the line.
The role of optimism in creating a joyful life that is also by my own standards, “successful,” is something I’ve thought quite a bit about over the last several years—in part, because of the position I held as a CEO during the pandemic.
I’ve always considered optimism to be elemental to good leadership. This is true in times of statis, but even more vital in those of chaos and fear—as we are still currently in. As Disney’s Bob Iger so succinctly put it in his MasterClass on leadership: “No one wants to follow a pessimist.”
Take a second and think about that—just in purely cinematic terms. None of those “against-all-odds, come-from-behind” movies we love ever feature a coach telling his downtrodden team to pack up their gear and go home.
Nor would Shakespeare’s Henry the 5th had the sort of staying power it has if at the siege of Harfleur, Henry—instead of his impassioned, “Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more!”—had said, “Well, lads, I hope none of you are still virgins because there is no way in hell we are getting out of this alive.”
No. All those moments we love, those epic movie scenes, are all about inspiration because at the end of the day—to quote Napoleon Bonaparte—“A leader is a dealer in hope.”
But that’s not to say that optimism doesn’t need to be anchored in realism. Another name for unbridled optimism that refuses to look at reality is magical thinking. And I’ve seen many a founder lose their way as a result of an inability to face the facts as they are. And equally, even a perennial optimist will not always be experiencing positivity. Feelings of positivity and negativity can often be more transactional in nature—a diehard pessimist can experience positive emotions after an excellent meal, and similarly, an optimist will likely not be feeling particularly positive when handed an unfavorable medical diagnosis. The difference is that after a period of adjustment, someone with an optimist mindset will set their sights on healing and beating the odds.
And even those of us who are either naturally optimists—or are working to increase our optimism muscles—will experience low times. Depression. Grief. Getting laid off from a job. That’s what makes up human. And the same holds true for the other people in our lives. But there’s a point at which caution needs to enter equation, and that’s when we find ourselves dealing with people and organizations who operate at the extremes. As damaging as “magical thinking” can be, “toxic negativity” can be even worse. So if you find yourself in relationship with the type of person who, if you handed them a billion dollars would spend the next two hours griping about taxes, you might seriously want to consider opting out.
When I look back at my own history, I can clearly see every situation in which optimism had a hand. Yes, of course the things I am most proud of required a lot of hard work, but what always seem to matter more was the underlying belief that “I could.”
The bottom line for me is this: As I work toward creating a more joyful life, surrounding myself with positive people who are not only optimists by nature, but who are also kind, compassionate and at their essence good—is non-negotiable. It’s not only what brings the poetry into my life, but also what reminds me to be those things for everyone else. And as an added bonus, studies now show that optimists live longer, and while I might not have needed any additional motivation—that pretty much seals the deal.
It was in my darkest moments I decided to be grateful. I grumbled at first because what did I have to be grateful for. Then something happened, it was as time went on my gratitude begat optimism and joy. Truly wonderful piece you've written, thank you.